Why First-Gen Professionals Burn Out: A Therapist’s Guide to Healing Perfectionism and Impostor Syndrome
If you grew up in a family where achievement meant security, where rest was seen as indulgence, and where failure was quietly feared, you’re not alone. For many first-generation professionals, perfectionism isn’t just a habit. It’s a deeply wired survival response.
It shows up as burnout, impostor syndrome, and overachievement in careers, relationships, and creative pursuits. And while it may have helped you earn gold stars, it often comes at the cost of emotional well-being.
Perfectionism Is Often Cultural, Not Just Personal
We don’t talk enough about how perfectionism stems from family systems, immigration narratives, and generational pressure.
Research shows that first-generation immigrant youth report significantly higher levels of perfectionism than their second-generation and non-immigrant peers (Luthra, 2022). It makes sense. Many of us were raised to believe our achievements were proof that our families’ sacrifices were worth it.
When layered with the intensity of life in New York or in high-pressure industries, that perfectionism can quickly become anxiety and emotional exhaustion.
Impostor Syndrome Is the Quiet Epidemic Behind High Performance
If you’ve ever said, “I feel like a fraud” after a major accomplishment, you’re not alone.
In the tech world, over 50% of software engineers report frequent impostor syndrome, with 68% of Asian professionals identifying with it (Guenes et al., 2023). Entrepreneurs are deeply affected as well. A recent study found that:
50% report experiencing anxiety
45.8% struggle with high stress
31.7% acknowledge frequent impostor syndrome (Bank Info Security, 2024)
For many high achievers I work with, especially those raised in immigrant households, these feelings are rooted in early subconscious beliefs like:
“If I’m not exceptional, I’ll be overlooked.”
“If I slow down, I’ll fall behind.”
“If I fail, I’ll disappoint everyone.”
When “Be the Best” Really Meant “Be Okay”
Maybe you grew up hearing:
“Make us proud.”
“Don’t waste our sacrifices.”
“What will people say?”
These aren’t just phrases. They’re scripts that shape your nervous system. You start chasing gold stars not because you want them, but because you’re afraid of what happens if you stop.
Why Letting Go Feels So Hard
Perfectionism protected you. It helped you succeed in environments where failure wasn’t an option. But if it’s no longer serving you, if it’s costing you sleep, peace, or joy, then it might be time to rewrite the script.
In therapy, we don’t force change. We slow down and get curious.
Whose voice says “keep going” even when you’re exhausted?
What happens when you imagine doing less?
What version of success actually feels good to you?
How Therapy Can Help You Untangle the Pattern
Using approaches like Attachment Theory, Internal Family Systems (IFS), AEDP, and somatic work, I help clients explore the origin of their internal pressure. We talk to the parts of you that learned to survive by overachieving. We practice nervous-system tools you can use before a performance review, product launch, or a boundary-setting conversation with family.
Therapy isn’t about abandoning your values. It’s about reconnecting to the ones that are truly yours.
Questions to Reflect On
When do I feel most like I’m not doing enough?
What am I afraid will happen if I slow down?
Where did I learn that success has to come with struggle?
You Are Allowed to Rest. You Are Allowed to Take Up Space.
If perfectionism, impostor syndrome, or burnout is keeping you from feeling like yourself, therapy can help. You don’t need to have it all figured out to begin. You just need to be willing to pause and start listening to the version of you that wants something different.
Schedule a free consult call with Sarah here to transform your inner world and expand your outer performance.
Written by Sarah Naqvi, MHC-LP
Therapist for First-Gen Professionals and Visionaries